When a loved one dies, most employees need some time away from work — for funeral arrangements, family, and simply to begin processing the loss. But bereavement leave policies vary enormously between employers, and there is no federal law requiring most companies to provide any bereavement leave at all. Here's what to know.
Federal Law and Bereavement Leave
The federal government does not require private employers to provide bereavement leave. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows eligible employees to take unpaid leave for their own serious health condition or to care for a family member with a serious health condition — but the death of a family member does not qualify as FMLA leave (unless you develop a qualifying health condition as a result of the bereavement).
A handful of states have enacted their own bereavement leave laws (Oregon, California, Illinois, and others). Check whether your state has a bereavement leave requirement.
Typical Employer Policies
Despite the lack of federal mandate, most large and medium employers offer bereavement leave as a company policy:
Common paid bereavement leave
- Immediate family (spouse/partner, child, parent, sibling): 3–5 days paid
- Extended family (grandparents, in-laws, grandchildren): 1–3 days paid
- Other relationships (aunts/uncles, close friends): often 1 day or none
Some progressive employers offer significantly more: 20 days (Meta, Google), or 3 weeks for the death of a child (Amazon). If you're unsure of your company's policy, check the employee handbook or contact HR.
What bereavement leave typically covers
Bereavement leave is intended to cover: making funeral arrangements, attending the funeral or memorial service, travel if required, and immediate family support. It does not typically provide time for the actual grief process, which extends far beyond a few days.
When You Need More Time
Three to five days is rarely sufficient to process a major loss. After bereavement leave, you still need to function professionally while grieving privately — which is exhausting. Options for additional time:
- PTO/vacation: Use available paid time off if you have it
- Unpaid leave of absence: Many employers will grant an unpaid leave if asked; check your company's policy
- Medical/disability leave: If grief is significantly impairing your functioning, consult your doctor. Acute grief that rises to the level of a clinical condition may qualify for short-term disability leave
- FMLA: If your own serious health condition results from bereavement, FMLA may apply — consult HR or an employment attorney
- Flexible/remote arrangements: Ask whether a temporary reduction in hours or remote work might help during the initial period
Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)
If your employer has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), use it. EAPs typically provide:
- Free confidential counseling sessions (usually 3–8 sessions)
- Referrals to grief counselors and therapists
- Help navigating available leave options
- Resources for other practical needs
EAP services are free to employees and usually available to family members as well. The EAP number is typically in your employee benefits materials or available through HR.
Returning to Work After Bereavement
Many people find returning to work surprisingly difficult — not just because of grief, but because the structure of normal expectations can feel both helpful and unbearable. Things that help:
- Tell your manager and close colleagues what level of acknowledgment feels comfortable — some people want their loss acknowledged; others want to focus on work and not be asked about it
- Be honest with yourself about what you can handle; it's okay to accomplish less temporarily
- Plan for hard days — anniversaries, the first holidays, milestones — to be difficult even long after your leave ends
- Use your EAP if you're struggling