Writing an obituary for someone you love is one of the hardest things a grieving family faces. You're trying to find the right words for a remarkable life — often with a deadline, exhaustion, and grief all competing at once.
This guide walks you through every step: what to include, how to structure it, what to skip, and how to find the right tone. At the end, you'll find a free template you can use right now.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a brief notice of someone's death, published in a newspaper, online, or shared with the community. A good obituary does three things:
- Announces the death and provides service information
- Celebrates the person's life, personality, and accomplishments
- Helps family, friends, and the community grieve together
Most obituaries range from 150 to 500 words. Some families write longer tributes for memorial programs or websites — those can be as long as feels right.
What to Include in an Obituary
A complete obituary typically covers:
1. Full Name and Age
Begin with the person's full legal name, and include any nicknames they were known by. Include their age or dates of birth and death.
Example: "John Michael Collins, 78, of Columbus, Ohio, passed away peacefully on May 8, 2026."
2. Cause of Death (Optional)
You don't have to include the cause of death. Many families choose to omit it or use a general phrase like "after a brief illness" or "peacefully at home." This is entirely up to you.
3. Place of Birth and Hometown
Where they were born and where they lived most of their life. If they moved around a lot, mention the places most significant to them.
4. Education and Career
Schools attended, degrees, military service, and career highlights — especially anything they were proud of or spent significant time doing.
5. Family
List immediate survivors (spouse, children, grandchildren) and those who preceded them in death. Extended family is optional — include what feels right.
Standard phrasing: "He is survived by his wife of 48 years, Margaret; his children Sarah (David), James, and Rebecca; and six grandchildren."
6. Personality, Passions, and Character
This is the heart of the obituary. What made this person who they were? Their hobbies, their humor, their faith, the things they loved. This is what people remember.
7. Service Information
Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial service. Visitation hours, if applicable. Whether it's public or private.
8. Memorial Donations
If the family prefers donations in lieu of flowers, include the charity name and any instructions.
How to Structure It
A simple, effective obituary structure:
- Opening sentence — name, age, location, date of passing
- Life story paragraph — birthplace, education, career, faith, community
- Who they were — personality, passions, what mattered to them
- Family paragraph — survivors and preceded-in-death
- Service information
- Donation note (if applicable)
Tone: Formal vs. Personal
Traditional obituaries are formal. Modern ones often aren't. Many families now write obituaries in first person, or with humor and warmth that reflects the person's actual personality.
There's no single right approach. Ask yourself: how would they want to be remembered? A quiet, formal man might want a dignified traditional notice. A joke-cracking grandmother who kept a garden and embarrassed her grandkids might deserve something warmer and more personal.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Being too vague. "She loved her family" tells readers nothing. "She drove two hours every Sunday to have dinner with her grandchildren" tells them everything.
- Listing accomplishments without personality. A list of jobs and degrees doesn't capture a person. Include one or two specific details that show who they really were.
- Forgetting to proofread. Check names, dates, and spellings carefully — especially of family members' names.
- Missing the deadline. Newspapers often need obituaries 24–48 hours before publication. Ask the funeral home for their deadlines.
Free Obituary Template
Copy and fill in the brackets:
[Full Name], [age], of [city], passed away [on date / peacefully / surrounded by family] on [date].
[He/She/They] was born on [birth date] in [birthplace] to [parents' names]. [He/She/They] grew up in [hometown] and attended [school/college]. [Brief career or life summary — 2–3 sentences.]
[Name] was known for [personality trait or quality]. [He/She/They] loved [hobby or passion], and [specific detail that captures who they were — one sentence].
[He/She/They] is survived by [list of survivors]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names].
A [funeral service / memorial service / celebration of life] will be held on [date] at [time] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [charity].
Getting Help Writing an Obituary
If you're struggling to find the words, you're not alone. Many families use our AI Writing Studio to generate a thoughtful starting draft based on information about the person's life. The draft is yours to edit and personalize — it's meant to help you get started, not to replace your voice.
You can also create a free legacy profile before you need one, giving your family a ready-made source of information when the time comes.