Finding the right poem for a funeral or memorial service is one of those tasks that feels impossible when you're grieving. These poems — organized by tone and occasion — are starting points. The right choice is the one that feels true to the person you're honoring.
Classic Funeral Poems
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" — Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932)
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
One of the most widely read funeral poems. Works for any faith tradition; the imagery is of presence rather than absence.
"Remember" — Christina Rossetti (1849)
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more, day by day,
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
The final couplet — "Better by far you should forget and smile / Than that you should remember and be sad" — is one of the most comforting lines in the English funeral tradition.
"Death Is Nothing at All" — Henry Scott Holland (1910)
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
Originally a sermon excerpt, this piece is widely used at Christian funerals and by families who find comfort in the idea of continuity.
"If I Should Go" — Joyce Grenfell (1980)
If I should go before the rest of you,
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone,
Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice,
But be the usual selves that I have known.
Weep if you must,
Parting is hell,
But life goes on,
So sing as well.
Short, direct, and often beloved by people who had a sense of humor and didn't want prolonged mourning. "But life goes on, so sing as well" is one of the most honest things ever written about grief.
Poems for a Parent
"She Is Gone" (or "He Is Gone") — David Harkins
You can shed tears that she is gone,
Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
Or you can be full of the love that you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she is gone,
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Gender can be changed throughout. One of the most read poems at parents' funerals. The repeated contrast structure makes it easy to follow even when the audience is grieving.
Short Poems and Readings
"Afterglow" — Helen Lowrie Marshall
I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
"Miss Me, But Let Me Go" — Author unknown
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little — but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me, but let me go.
Religious and Spiritual Readings
Psalm 23 (King James Version)
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
John 14:1-3 (NIV)
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
Contemporary and Secular Readings
From "The Velveteen Rabbit" — Margery Williams
"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Often used for an older person who had a full, well-lived life. The word "Real" carries enormous resonance in a memorial context.
From "Winnie the Pooh" — A.A. Milne
"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
A single line, but often the most powerful thing read in a service. Works for any relationship.
Choosing What's Right
The best reading is one that genuinely fits the person and the service. A few questions to guide your choice:
- Would the person have liked this poem?
- Does it reflect their faith — or their lack of it?
- Is the tone right for the service?
- Is it short enough to hold the audience's attention while they're grieving?
For help with other parts of the service, see our guides on how to write a eulogy, what to say at a funeral, and how to plan a memorial service.